Thursday, September 27, 2012

Icy tendrils and garden hoes


A tear dropped onto the paper, smudging the blue lines. The only evidence of the pain and hurt that was tucked away. In every human, there is a place that we tuck everything away. Forgetting about it, but its still there. We cant truly get rid of it. And sometimes that place can only be so big and things spill over, leaking onto everything and destroying it. And sometimes, you put so much in that it becomes living and it attacks you. It shreds apart everything until all you have left is your shell. You become an empty human, wishing to be filled up. Wanting someone to come along and kiss the life back into you.

Maybe brains pick and choose what they want to feel so that you don’t explode. Some days all you feel is melancholy that drowns. You swim in your own tears, all the while crying more tears. And sometimes your brain decides to tear down the curtains on the windows and let in all the sunlight it can to warm up all the cold places hidden deep in. but sometimes you tear down the curtains to find that there is no sunlight. And you are reminded why you put them up in the first place. And sometimes those curtains block out all the sunlight when it comes.

And with some people, the sunlight doesn’t come, so everything is cold and dark and it freezes over and hardens like ice. Water is so soft when warm, but is sharp and unforgiving when cold. All the hidden corners remain dark and cold and all the beautiful colors leave. And all that’s left is darkness. Darkness that suffocates you. It sends icy tendrils down your throat, sapping the warmth from every inch of you. And finally, when they icy tendrils slither away, all you’re left with is nothing. You lay there trying to figure it out. But you cant make something out of nothing

That’s why people like to be together. A friend takes a garden hoe and beats away the icy tendrils and fills you instead with colors that spill over everywhere. And then something wonderful happens. A smile appears. A true smile, one that comes from true happiness.

And that smile is contagious. You flash one of those and now everyone’s got one. And then the icy tendrils slither away, disappointed and never being able to beat that sign of pure joy.

Perception

She danced. People stared. They gawked.

To the people it was like this.
Elbows. Red hair. Wild. Weird. ????. Awkward. Pretend its not happening. Hurrying away. Things to do. Oooo,youtube so everybody else hates her. Laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing all around filling every corner and every mind.

To her It was this.
Rhythm. Music inside of you, moving you. Blue with bursts of lemony yellow and sweet pink. Purple explosions of new spring green and fleshy pink. Biting into a freshly picked mango. Swirls of the sea dancing in the air, mixing with the sky and clouds. Fish swimming all around, exoctic and fresh.

Everyday she would listen to the greys of teachers talking. Occasional sparks of blue. But mainly grey floating all around. A suffocating grey. Cold and uninviting like cement.

And then, a sharp orange would pierce the air and students would squish out of narrow doorways. And she would walk. Ignoring the dull red from the pain of carrying books until this corner that was so pale blue. She would shed her burdens and turn on the music that was so many colors and dance. And here, she was free from everything. Free. Which was a burst of everything so sweet.

Ignoring people and their laughter. Ignoring their pain that was written in their eyes. Ignoring the hurt that came from seeing them caged. Unable to realize that the world around them was a cage. Unable to break free and feel the wind as they flew away, higher and higher and higher.

But all the people saw was Elbows. Red hair. Wild. Weird. ????. Awkward. And all they felt was laughter bubbling up inside them cause to them it was so absurd. Laughter that was twisted because of their cages.

And that’s how she got a million hits.

verbs

Waiting, drifting, wishing
waiting for you to respond
drifting through my day
wishing for some answers

wanting, longing, needing
wanting you to reply
longing for a word from you
needing you to pay attention

hoping, praying, imagining
hoping that i'll hear from you
praying that you'll see
imagining that its better